Our human attention span is what?

By Jerelyn Craden

As it so happens, ol’ Maybelle was talking to Renda Ploops, a great gal, full of vim and vinegar, with a mind that flits around the earth and back in the course of just a few sentences, don’tcha know. Why, I was exhausted just trying to connect the dots, which got me to asking the ol’ Google wizard what might be causing this to happen. And this is what I found out …
Did you know that the human attention span is 8.25 seconds? Why, that’s less than the attention span of a golf fish! That’s right. That slippery little shiny thing beat us by .75 seconds, don’tcha know.
Plus, from 2000 to 2015 the human attention span decreased by almost 25 per cent. Twenty-five per cent. Two years later, guess who was elected president of the United States. Co-incidinky?
Why, that was the span of time when cell phones/texting and the Internet became human addictions. Why some folks just can’t let their cell phones go unanswered when they ring, regardless of the time of day or night. That’s one addiction that needs to be added to the list.
Cell Phones Anonymous!
Why, ol’ Maybelle admits to checking my emails a ridiculous number of times a day, and I am aware that it’s an addiction. As for texting, I prefer a real conversation or even writing an email. My fingers, although, pretty skinny, are forever hitting the wrong keys, so it takes me forever to complete a text. And then Spellcheck changes words that I don’t WANT it to change. Argh!
But, back to our human short attention span …
According to Google, one in four teens forget important information about their close family and friends. Can you imagine, young Clifford is in the kitchen making a peanut butter sandwich when his mom walks in and he can’t remember who she is? “I know it starts with an ‘m,’” he says.
Also, one in ten people forget their own birthday from time to time. Just thinking about my birthday puts ol’ Maybelle in a flap. Not only was there no such thing as time-saving digital shmigitals back then to save spending loads of time writing and editing stories and such … there was no such thing as waterproof mascara – an absolute must for Esther Williams wannabes!
Why, I’m just so glad that MY attention span hasn’t been affected. Oh, there’s a sale on at Morty’s Shoes & Such, uh, gotta send Rita a birthday card … good thing my taxes are done … think I’ll bake a chicken tonight … Beanpole’s Tiger Moth bi-plane hit my wood shed again … Bogart needs a good nail-clipping … gotta water the hostas … what time is it?
Like I said, I’m so glad ol’ Maybelle’s attention span is as good as ever, don’tcha know.
Maybelle’s Fireside Stories is written by Jerelyn Craden. “Maybelle’s Cure for What Ails You,” 21 of Maybelle’s best short stories is now available at www.amazon.com.