Cover boy

By Steve Galea

If you notice me walking down the street this week wearing a ball cap, dark sunglasses and looking presentable and clean-shaven, it’s because I am trying to be unrecognizable for a while – which is not an easy thing to do when you are a cover boy.
That’s right. Last week, instead of placing a photo of a deer, squirrel, owl, eagle, raven, duck, otter, vole, or other cute furry animal on the cover of the Echo’s County Life issue, they decided to adorn the cover with a person who works for the same rate.
Honestly, no one was more surprised than me.
One day, I’m just a regular guy with spatulated features and a killer granddad bod. The next day, I am stuffed in every County Life box in the County. And, this time, not because of bullies.
For those few of you who do not already have this photo pinned over your workbench, or attached to the fridge with magnets, allow me to describe the image. It is a photo of me tying on a fishing lure while ice fishing on Pine Lake. To say I look dreamy, is probably an understatement.
Before I explain the photo however, let me dispel a few myths that are now very likely circulating around the community. First off, I have had no work done. Everything you see in that photo is real. No, those aren’t hair extensions and yes, silver fox, is my natural hair colour. Also, the ear hair is real. And despite all appearances, I have not been putting in time at the gym. That’s just the way the good Lord made me.
I also want to thank you fine people for respecting my privacy. I know it must be extremely difficult to see me, say at the Post Office or in the produce section, and not stop me and request a selfie or an autograph. But, by golly, you people have risen to the challenge. It didn’t happen once. Furthermore, most of you acted as if you had never even seen the photo. Kudos.
The truth is this photo was not supposed to be a pin-up.
Editor Vivian Collings, who took the photos, just asked if I could take her ice fishing so she could get some file photos for the newspaper. The idea, I believe, was also to catch a fish or two. And, possibly, create a tourism boom at Pine Lake.
Unfortunately, she was fishing with me, so the fish part never happened. Lacking that, she had me pose while drilling holes with a power auger, while ladling out slush, and while tying on lures.
Well, you know me, when the camera is pointed my way, I can’t help but work it. Not to overstate things, but I guess the best way to describe what Vivian got is to call it a masterclass in modelling. Yes, there were also steamy photos, but the steam was because I overheated while trying to start the auger.
There are also a series of photos of me with pouty lips that she’ll probably break out another day when newspaper sales need boosting. And let’s not even talk about my sashaying. She probably sent those to GQ. It’s rare to see good sashaying photos in Geriatric Quarterly.
Anyway, to summarize, Vivian wanted photos of a fish on the ice. Instead, she got a pin up of me tying on a lure.
That took two hours of her morning too. So, I guess you could say it was all for knot.